By the way, my friends have reminded me that I have to stay consistent with W and not be her friend. She's called me today twice, each time she starts out with a friendly "Hell-oooo!" and I stay neutral and end the call when her questions have been answered. She gives me a pissy 'bye'.
Then she came in a little while ago to tell me she was making dinner, and had to go back out to do a massage and then she'd be back. Used her 'annoyed' voice and looked away from me the whole time and did not make eye contact.
I was pleasant, said 'ok, great!' and as she abruptly left the room I said "Thank you for making dinner" in a pleasant voice. she did not reply.
Ouch, that hurts. I feel like I'm pushing her away. Well, I AM. I can't pretend everything is grand in the 'ol household. It isn't.
This is so 'anti-DB' but it's 'right'. Yes, I wasn't a great husband the past year because I was hurting and self-medicating. BUT I never thought of leaving to 'feel better' and I ALWAYS thought of how I had to "get out of this mess" somehow and keep us afloat.
If she can't or won't love me any more and feels that she's going to be happier 'on her own' or 'with someone else' then she has to understand that a choice like that means you don't get to keep Ex Husband as a friend. Especially if you leave him fixing his emotional mess and the financial mess at the same time you are abandoning him.
No matter how many of her 'friends' tell her this is going to be 'good' for her, and that Frank wasn't going to change on his own and if you and he are together he'll 'always' go back to the same way he was and make you unhappy again, she still has to be held accountable for her actions and the effect they have on me, and eventually on the kids.
I'm much kinder than our D17 is going to be once W tells them what she is planning to do to our family again. Hopefully that won't be for a few weeks or months since we are supposed to stay 'coordial' till school gets out. I would be happier if I didn't have to deal with that emotional stress right now.
