W called me this morning. She tracked me down given I was not responding to my phone in my office. She figured out I had taken a sick day, and said she could tell I did not sound well by my voice when I talked to our S's earlier.
Her motive for tracking me down was selfish, no big surprise. She wanted to schedule a meeting with a mediator a week from next Friday. Said it would be $200/hour, which we would split.
I didn't object, although I am uneasy about any particular mediator she would come up with. W said that mediation would be the least costly to the both of us, rather than litigation. Again, I told her that was entirely up to her whether mediation would work or not.
Mostly I was trying to be non-confrontational and not allowing W to force an argument out of me. But at one point W said that "unless you become unreasonable, we should not have to hire our own attorneys."
To which I objected, saying, "If I become unreasonable?"
W corrected herself: "If we cannot come to some agreement, only then should we have to hire our own lawyers."
At that I said, "Thank you." And we moved on from there.
I told W we needed to have her W2 before we start any mediation, as well as a check stub from her new salaried position. W thought I was talking about me doing our 2007 tax returns. I told her sure, I would do them, but we need her information for the mediation and for determining the settlement.
W said something about her understanding why my income mattered for the settlement of child support, but she didn't think her income had any bearing. I corrected her saying both our incomes are factored into child support.
W said okay, sounded a little hurt, and said, again, that she didn't want any money from me if that's how I felt. I told her I was not going to skip out on my obligations, but I do want what was fair. I told her I was not going to pad the child support payment with what would amount to alimony (especially since she is not entitled to any spousal support given her adultery.)
W tried to get me to agree on the afternoon of Friday, Feb 8, but I told her I'd have to check with my employer first. I typically need to give them two weeks advanced notice before time off is granted. In the end, W agreed to push it back to Friday, Feb 22.
I then told W goodbye and hung up.
Until that conversation, I was not willing to ever say anything to W about anything other than our S's. I am trying to stay as absolutlely dark as possible. I am taking the policy of no talk with W that might extend into her talking about things other than the actual business between us. Just the facts, ma'am.
W has been in the habit of bending my ear at times talking about her "hard work" and "long hours" and all of the "mountains of paperwork" she has to contend with. I am no longer telling her anything about the difficulties and struggles I am facing in my own work, mainly because it falls on deaf ears anyway. Most times, I tolerate it in hopes we can get back to something of mutual concern. But lately, I feel better if I don't give her the opening to prattle on about something she knows she doesn't want me to be a part of anyway.
I am doing my best from now on to keep the conversation very short and to the point. I don't want to be a part of her drama any more than I have to. It gets me absolutely nowhere.
