Well, I think it's important to wear clothes that make us feel good about ourselves. I have big boobs and they have always been a source of annoyance for me. And to be sure, there are annoying aspects of having them, such as not being able to find sexy bras and getting clothes that fit properly. Mojo recently said that the fashion industry makes it impossible to be stylish when you have big boobs. And I agree.
I spent most of my adult life trying to hide them. My rejection of my sexuality goes back to my relationship with my father (I wasn't molested but he said inappropriate things to me). I didn't like the attention the boobs brought me, because mostly I wanted to not be noticed.
Part of owning my sexuality has been accepting and owning my big boobs. They are a part of the whole that is me.
Back to you...what about lingerie? Buying/wearing it makes me feel sexy. I don't wear it all the time, but sometimes I like to surprise cac. It builds anticipation in me when I'm going around all day wearing something sexy.
As for fantasies, I know they work for a lot of people, so definitely worth a try. I happen find them distracting, so I mostly focus on how I'm feeling.
You said that one of the issues you had with the sex last night was communicating what you like to your H. Maybe you could just place his hand or whatever where you'd like it, or place your own hand on him to start something else. You don't necessarily need to say anything. Or if there's something you really liked about last night, you could say to him, "I really liked it when you did x or we did y" or whatever.
Another thing...what I like sexually is not the same now as it was 20 years ago. Things that used to work no longer do so much for me and I have new favorites. Part of the process is figuring out what you like and then communicating that to H.
