Also, I have never been a very good complainer. I always find the positives and move on. It has been hard to do so about my SL because I keep looking for things from H that he just won't seem to jump on my bandwagon and provide (and I just stand there with my hands in the air and say "Why not???"). So the standing up for my POV has ended up equated to complaining, nagging and such in my mind and I have resisted that too. Yeah - it is time for anarchy. My red silk dress, red briefcase, erotic literature illustration was about this. I may just start vamping around in lingerie again too - whether or not H notices. I stopped when he looked right past me but that was my bad because that stuff is for ME (and for him if he likes it, if he doesn't fcuk him).
Karen,
The thing to remember is that even if your cr*p sexual relationship is fully 50% your fault, it's really okay and healthy to want to be sexual. By analogy, if your H and you cooked breakfast together and he ruined the eggs and you burnt the toast, you don't have to stand around forever scraping off black junk and pretending like the eggs taste good. Can you see how it would be freeing for both of you if you were able to say "This sucks. I'm going to IHOP. Are you coming?" without any expectations regarding his answer.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
