I have been a control freak too. Part of my healing has been letting go of things that aren't that important. It's taken time, but I've got more of the "it's not the end of the world" attitude about the small stuff.
A big part of my control-freakishness is related to my chaotic home life as a child. My father was an alcoholic and he and my mother fought all the time. They didn't know how to communicate any other way. My father would goad my mother, she'd fall for it and they'd be off. As a child you can't control very much about your life so you grab on to what you can control and unfortunately this stays with you into adulthood.
Letting go of things has actually helped me to be LESS anxious than I used to be. Seems counterintuitive, doesn't it?
