So the standing up for my POV has ended up equated to complaining, nagging and such in my mind
I think this is very important, karen. Look at this.
You said you equate expressing your POV with complaining.
I know you know this is not true, but this feeling lurks anyway.
I'll bet you don't feel this way at work. I'll bet your POV is something you express cleanly and clearly, and that your colleagues take you seriously.
I'm surmising that expressing your POV at home has a whole different flavor. Even the comment you made about decorating is revealing-- if you came home and wanted to change the drapes or something, would your H say, "What's wrong with THESE drapes that I picked out?" That doesn't leave much room for YOU, does it? Where are you in the home? Where are you in your life?
I think this tack is work pondering.
My POV = complaining
Is there a time/place/circumstance AT HOME when your POV doesn't feel like complaining? Does your H treat your opinions as complaints? Is this from childhood?
