I agree, a little more warmth from Dr. Love might just be what W needs. Try to think of it from her point of view. She is the one that messed you, you eventually pulled away, she might very well think you aren't attracted to her anymore.
catching up on your sitch tonight. I'm proud of you. To me it seems like you are doing all the right things. I hope she comes around so you can enjoy life together. The new marrage.
Good luck with the kiss.
light switch
Me 37 W 37 D21 D17 D12 S8 grandparents 7/07 boy Married 16 yrs last June 07 Bomb dropped 4/07
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right-for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't", Eleanor Roosevelt
Ok A little journaling here tonight / today... what ever it's 4:00 am...
Anyway I have come along way, heck we all have come along way...We all have dealt with our sitches the best we knew how.. I mean there are classes on being married , having kids and such you can take before you get married or have kids but none on affair's...I guess it's a given that it will not happen... my 1 year anniversary of the affair is coming up...the stages I have been though are amazing.... I went from suicidal to desperate to worthless to trying to detach... to detaching....to rediscovering myself.....to rising above the person who dominated my actions.... To having to turn away hot tub offers from very attractive drunken women....
Sunday after the hot tub incident I found myself not wanting to be married anymore.. I wanted to be able to take up these type "offers" without guilt... I have spoken to a few of you about this... Then I started thinking No it's not that I don't want to be married... It's that I don't want to be married LIKE THIS...
This whole situation was like a runaway train... It was barreling down the tracks...As We all know going from being "happily married" to detaching is hard.... You have to stop thinking US and start thinking ME Anyway Tuesday I looked at my wife and I realized I could not give her even a hug.. I had detached that far...It hit me.. As hard as it was to go out and gal, it was going to be too just as hard now to GAW.. That's get a wife... Yes it's like that first time you force yourself to go to the movies by yourself you think "what am I doing?"...You just wanted to just stay home but you know you NEEDED to do this... And you force yourself to do it... Then you saw that it was not that bad..I think I am at a neutral point right now... I mean I know I will survive with out wife. I know it's not the best of sitches but son will be ok.. So I can go either way....So I am going to try GAW for awhile... Last night W had son sit at the dinner table and WE ate dinner as a family.. Then after dinner I told w how good it was and the walked over to her and gave her a kiss on the lips... Any "kissing" the last few months have been on the forehead...Then... Before I went to bed last night I "Forced" myself to go in and give her a good night kiss... It feels so awkward... It's strange... It's like the first kiss I ever gave her...but It felt good....Am I on the road to recovery?? I don't know... What I do know is that It is not going to be easy... We all wish that this whole thing was just a dream and we are going to wake up or that our spouses are going to come running up to us and say "I am sooooo sorry. I was a fool... How can I ever make it up to you" this is not going to happen...I think it is time to recognize that she IS trying..I have DETACHED.. Now it seems time to Reconnect....yes we will need to talk but we are really strangers right now....we need to get back to where we can talk...
Ok enough said...
Have a great day Dr Love
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
WOW Husband!! That is huge and maybe that is what it will take to get the ball rolling. Maybe you need to remind her that you want her and desire her. I am sure part of her has to worry that you have.
