I'm going to say something you... and it is going to come out in good ole' Corri fashion... sigh. _____________________________________________________________
I used to have a friend who expressed herself like you. I miss her. It is good to have someone around who just says what they think and d@mn the torpedos. Even when I disagree it rarely hurts my feelings. I'm not a hot house flower.
Okay. If there are two polar opposites on this board, it is you and I. You are SOOO caring, so giving, so nurturing... so KIND... it just really irks my azz that someone like DOMR... who isn't even IN am SSM can come along and spout JESUS/BIBLE at you.. when he very CLEARLY has not gone back to read your history.
So. I stand behind my 'fck you' statement to him. (No offense, DOM R, you just wear my azz out and I can only take so much). ________________________________________________________________
Oh, he's trying to help. I admire that he continues to mess with my thread at all when it is clear that I have very obstinately decided that I will take the path I want when I want and not until. All comers are free to make suggestions and I am free to take them. Or not.
Yet, Karen, you come in and SOOOO diplomatically say thank you to me, and defend HIM all in the same paragraph. I scratch my head, and wonder how you actually pull that off.... and sit and say to myself... 'fck me, how'd she do that?'
And then I realize... it's because... you wouldn't say 'fck you' if your mouth was full of it. You might say all kinds of OTHER things... but not that. ________________________________________________________________
I can but rarely. There are a few phrases/thoughts that to me signify "I am done with you" and fcuk you has always been one of them. My ex-H used to freely utilize that word with me. I have told current H on more than one occasion that he can use fcuk in any sentance (as I often do) with me except "fcuk you" and it is hard for him since he likes to say it frequently and I have stopped discussions cold in which he has chosen to say fcuk you. He can say fcuk that, that is fcuking stupid or any number of things but I don't say fcuk you unless I am done with you and I ask the same courtesy of him. Funny thing is I say GD with regularity and he NEVER does. I know you don't mean this literally but it is funny how what you say actually does play out literally too.
In the absence of you being able to say 'fck you,' your H has crowded out your cow to become Mr. Cow... he's being Mr. Host to anyone who comes along... and you are being Mr. Karen, saying... 'when am I going to get fcked...???' but... still being all Nice Cow about it.
Honey. At some point, you are going to have to do a reclaimation project over your territory... kwis? And it is going to require a Lioness "FCK YOU, BACK OFF FROM MY DOMAIN." You are SO accommodating and nonconfrontational, that this man has horned in on your territory... so YOU are this non-sexual being who hangs out on the edges, having babies... and then THIS GUY takes it all over because you don't STOP HIM.
I started thinking about this tonight, after I sent you that link to the "Interview with God," thing... and like... an hour after, I thought... jesus... whoa!!!! Karen, being devotional and relaxed and beauty and whatnot... has NEVER, EVER been the problem... I've never known Karen to be anything OTHER THAN those things...
so I'm sitting here, think, think, thinking... now... I know you are not the other extreme (Corri)... but yowzers... you have a Mr. Mom on your hands because you aren't just a tad bit MORE Corri... kwis? And not in the bedroom, either... it's in all other facets of your life... simply because... you DON'T want to rock the boat... it IS your second marriage... you DON'T want to fail at number two... so... whatever it is he needs to do... okay... that's how HE is... that's what HE wants...
Uhm. Hello. Karen? Is there a Karen in the House? Is there a Karen BOUNDARY in the HOUSE?
YOU tell him when to cook. YOU tell him when to clean. YOU tell him when to fetch kids, take out garbage, hold the baby, call the neighbors for a night over, when he can or can't watch Sports Center, etc., etc., etc.,... because YOU are Ms. Cow.... and ALL of that falls under Ms. Cow domain...
But that isn't what happens in Karen Household. HE is the one who calls the shots. Isn't he?
And that is okay, if the two of you have agreed upon it... but you haven't. He just DOES it. And you don't stop him. You couldn't say 'fck you, back off," if your mouth was full of it.
You are diplomatically, very nicely... screwing yourself out of a sex life.
I know, I know... sorry... _____________________________________________________________
Don't apologize. I think you have a point here. It took me a very long time to work in any of my own sense of personal style into our home because H owned it before we met. It still doesn't look like it would if my cow were given full reign to make choices. However, when we make home improvements then H lets me choose style, color etc... as long as he doesn't hate it. I have been feeling the need to be more domestic in my home, I'm good at it and I don't get to do that much of it in my home because as you say, H does a lot of it and I have become awfully powerful in my workplace. Yes H is Mr. Cow and I am like already pregnant female bovine who lacks any sexual identity because she's already knocked up. KIWM??? I spend all my time working or mothering the babies and H has become domestic Goddess of the home. In the bedroom I get two identities lioness or bunny. Lioness works for both of us and bunny works for no one.
