Sorry it was bothering me that I couldn't remember the words...here they are (at least the chorus)
Buy me a rose, call me from work Open a door for me, what would it hurt Show me you love me by the look in your eyes These are the little things I need the most in my life
So I bought you a rose on the way home from work Opened the door to a heart that I hurt And I hope you notice this look in my eyes Cause Im gonna make things right Im gonna hold you tonight Do all those little things For the rest of your life.
Like I said, this is what most women really want..the little things that show you care.
Hope this helps!
B.
ME 34 H 33 Married 02/11/2006 1st bomb- 06/05/2006 final 01/07/2008
Sounds good on the necklace. I think she would be shocked to see that again. I'll have to pick a different store to buy it from.
Thanks also for the PMA pickmeup. I honestly dont see what was in our marriage, how well we got along and still do, that she's not willing to say 'this is whats wrong, lets fix it'.
Of course she doesnt think we ever communicated very well. One thing I asked her today was if I was a much better communicator than several months ago. She said I have made some definite changes. So I said wouldnt it be great to be talking about fun stuff instead of all the R and D talk?
Another point I have been trying to make to her was if she allowed me to improve on the issues she has continually brought up, experienced these, the 'circle of pain' would end and she would start to feel again for me. What I mean by that is if I was lacking in an area, it made her irritated at me. When she got irritated, I would withdraw and get mad. Then she would withdraw...back and forth. I brought this up that if I could break the chain, I think she may feel differently over time. It will be hard to break the chain if I'm not here anymore.
I think a good book that explains this is Love Languages. I probably broke one of the biggest DB rules, but I asked her to read it tonight. She had promised me to read it before but had not. I said to her that I was completely ignorant to what the book talks about. That she could probably figure out my LL in a heartbeat, and that I know hers is one of two, but we could talk about that after she read it. At this point I'm sort of lost and I'm hoping she will read it and get a different point of view on her feelings vs. dealing with her divorced friends that are looking for more teammates. Its not going to change her feelings I know, but maybe it will open her eyes a little.
Hope you are feeling better today....I have my own theory on our WAWs. As long as they have someone else (whether it be a PA, EA, someone waiting in the wings or maybe her career) they can not open themselves to let us in. It is obvious that there is someone working against us.....I have said this before, who would leave something ok., for nothing? Having said this, it is up to us to show them that they are leaving something very good behind. Very simplistic i know.
Having said this, it is up to us to show them that they are leaving something very good behind. Very simplistic i know.
Simple but this has been very difficult for me to do. Especially when in her mind the greener grass is over there. Keep plugging away but it is a real roller coaster.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
I think it is important to remember that if there wasn't something missing for them in our Rs then they wouldn't be looking for other M.
In my case I believe that I know why she is "unfilled". If she feels the need to try to solve her issues in the arms of another man I am confident she will figure out that quickly that it won't solve her problem. It may make it worse.
W is so MLC....shes all decked out for work today...heavy makeup, fancy shoes...
BAW...what pulled you out of your MLC?
also...valentines day is the day after our hearing. I'm not sure after we throw swords at each other and I am potentially removed from my house by a judge that I would be in the mood to give her a vday present after all that. and, if she has to leave, I guarantee I won't be in her top 5 favorites that day either.
I just stopped doing the stupid things I was doing (kept the car though lol). I realized I was too old to be out with all the young 24-27 yr olds every night. It just took time though.
I am thinking that your W didn't really want to go through with the court date since she didn't remember it when she told you she wanted to take a vacation on that day. I think the court date was a push or incentive to scare you. But since you reminded her, she now has to go through with it. Maybe ask if it can be pushed back a week or two, and tell her to take that vacation to have time to herself and think. Dates can be changed very easily. See what she says and then deal with VDay thing. Right now it wouldn't hurt you to ask.
The make-up, shoes, etc. are superficial things that she is doing to make herself feel prettier and better about herself. And it is also a way to make you a little jealous about what you are going to be losing. I admit, women can be mean that way. You didn't say if you commented or not about her appearance...if not you should just tell her tonight that she looked amazing today and leave it at that. Don't say pretty, beautiful etc..use amazing.
I hope this helps! Keep being strong!
B
ME 34 H 33 Married 02/11/2006 1st bomb- 06/05/2006 final 01/07/2008
W was actually trying to schedule something for work. It is weird she forgot about that date. Theres no chance of her changing it. She wants to know the result asap because she wants to take our kids on vacation during their winter break which is later in Feb. She even wrote it in the petition. That's how MLC she is I think. She has been pressuring me over and over again about what to do for our kids breaks. When we went out to dinner, she must have asked me 5 times. Yesterday we went on a walk with the dog and I didnt say a word regarding anything and the first thing out of her mouth is trying to sort out these breaks so she can go on vacation. I told her that one of us is moving out that week, so how can you plan anything. I'm not sure she considered that either.
I did tell her that she looked very pretty today when she left...o.k....wrong word...but she wasnt as decked out as some days. I'll save 'amazing' for tomorrow.
She did call me after she left to remind me about something. Sort of unusual. I guess she wont realize all the things she relies on me for until we are apart. Dreading that though.
I'm sure that court date was meant to scare me. The way the petition is written and a few other barbs in there, plus, she called immediately to try to negotiate some sort of deal. Thing is, what am I negotiating? Its basically I leave or theres nothing to talk about. I have nothing to lose by at least finding out at the hearing. Problem is it could be very damaging to our chances of reconciling. I'm sure each sides arguments are not going to be too flattering.
I was sitting in bed last night just thinking if I lose the hearing and have to move out...what would moving out be like? What would I take with me? Pretty scarry to think about.
