When she gets home you need to give her an incredible amount of space. She is expecting you to pursue don't do it.
I am concerned about your sleep issue related to OM. When your sub-conscious (your gut) and conscious are in conflict, that can lead to a high level of anxiety and then depression. Bottom line, you do not have peace of mind.
Therapy can help you restore your balance when you are going through a difficult time such as now. Talk it out and trust your gut.
