OK so JF here is my confession-- I am holding out hope 2. I think most of us are. And you should be holding out hope. It has only been four or five months for you and what would your marriage have been worth to you if after five months you lost hope. If you had put someone else in my shoes and told me their H was doing what my H was doing to me I would have told them to get out. You could have never in a million years told me this would happen to me and I would actually be fighting. It's true and unconditional love and it surpasses ego and it surpasses pride. It's OK to tell your H that this is not what you want. Don't beg or plead or cry, but very unemotionally tell him this is not what you want. Let him know that he has given you quite a bit to deal with on top of being a new mom all over. You choose not to deal with it right now. Tell him you willl most certainly have a definitive answer for him by or before 9/10/08 when it's time to file. At this point you need him to back off to give you some space because you have a lot to think about. This worked for my H. It worked so well that when I tried to bring up D the a few weeks ago he did not want to talk about it. My stance is I got too much other crap to deal with like finishing school. I hope he does not file, but if he does I am going to constest it at least till I graduate. Not because I am holding out hope (which is what he would love to believe), but rather because school is more important than dealing with his crisis. I don't need him screwing that for me too. Take your time and do what is best for your kids. Who cares what he wants or when he wants it. Make it about you.
