Okay, I have a couple questions for the peanut gallery.
1) Does the typical man's refractory period vary depending upon whether he is engaged in MB or actual sex?
2) If you orgasm around 50X in 10 days and your monkey ends up with a sprained arm but keeps reaching for the cookie jar on Pavlovian auto-pilot like "Yum. Ouch." so you tell your virtual sexual partner that he needs to chill it, does that make you relatively LD?
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Is this the phone sex you're talking about? How do you know that he's really doing it. Maybe he's faking? After all it's a lot easier to fake this kind of sexual vigour.
He's probably quaking at the thought of meeting you IRL.
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
Whatever. Just bottle that vigor, market it and move on! If he has any sense at all he is faking it and shoring himself up in anticipation of meeting you.
You are just divine. You know that LD/HD is just a convenient label with no meaning other than what the players assign it. If you are Cemar it is everything. If you are you - who cares???as long as your partner is engaged with you, with sex and with life.
Is this the phone sex you're talking about? How do you know that he's really doing it. Maybe he's faking? After all it's a lot easier to fake this kind of sexual vigour.
Well, clearly I can't know whether he's faking for sure. BTW I didn't mean to imply that he had 50 orgasms -lol. It's more like I get about 3 for 1 and then just a few minutes later he's ready to go again and I get about 2 for 1 so I would estimate that maybe he's gone 20 times for my 50.
Anyways, last night we had a "fight" (more comic than angry) about who's more HD. Whether or not I "won" or "lost" depends on the extent to which sexual responsiveness = drive. My "problem" is that I am ridiculously sexually responsive. I can be in a completely non-sexual mode of being but if a man who I find attractive says something like "unzip your pants" I'm pretty much instantly aroused and since I have like a 30 second refractory period I can just keep orgasming until I get sore. However, in my book my level of sexual responsiveness doesn't equal my sex drive because my sexual responsiveness is just the equivalent of me wanting to say "Yes" if someone offers me a cookie and my sex drive is me being willing to get in the car and go to the store or get out the stool and climb up on the cupboard or get out the cookbook and bowl and get myself some cookies. The cookie analogy is also valid because it's like I can get in the habit of expecting cookies for dessert if they're always available and also because in a world in which cookies had no calories I might only stop eating them when I got a tummy ache.
So, one of the questions I am pondering is : Does sex have calories? and if so what form do they take? My sister and I couldn't figure out whether getting pervy text messages from men during our work day makes us more or less productive. We can pretty much stay on task while we chat about the topic and our desire to interrupt our work day to go shopping for erotic apparel was matched with a bargain to do some more work that would allow us to afford the erotic apparel. Also, I'm going to go to a little book sale when I visit FSG so I should be able to get a partial tax write-off for any expenses I might accrue.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I view sex more like exercise than cookies, in that the vast majority of people are more likely to be sex deprived rather than sex junkies. Finding that healthy balance is just part of the journey.
I wasn't referring to this BB. I think, in general, in life, there are way more people who could use more sex than there are those who are sex-obsessive. Like exercise.
I wasn't referring to this BB. I think, in general, in life, there are way more people who could use more sex than there are those who are sex-obsessive. Like exercise.
Maybe you are right. I guess it depends on what the Surgeon General would recommend and how much people lie on surveys. My perspective may be a bit skewed because I've been dating men who don't "not have sex". Pretty much any preference can be reframed as dysfunctional or obsessive. Workaholic/slacker, neatnik/slob, superfreak/frigid etc. etc. If I were to use BB's messy mate analogy, the argument FSG and I had about sex last night would be the equivalent of two messies good-naturedly bickering about who was more responsible for the state of the living room.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Interesting. For the sake of the argument, when was the last time you were in a relationship where the man wasn't wanting to jump your lovely bones on a constant basis? I'm not counting STBX, unless early on. But since him, you haven't been with anyone for long enough for the initial blaze to die down a bit, have you? How often do you suppose you would go out of your way to initiate in the absence of constant initiation from your partner? (This assumes everything else in the relationship is fine and you just tuckered him out or he's overloaded elsewhere or something.)
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
