Sounds good on the necklace. I think she would be shocked to see that again. I'll have to pick a different store to buy it from.
Thanks also for the PMA pickmeup. I honestly dont see what was in our marriage, how well we got along and still do, that she's not willing to say 'this is whats wrong, lets fix it'.
Of course she doesnt think we ever communicated very well. One thing I asked her today was if I was a much better communicator than several months ago. She said I have made some definite changes. So I said wouldnt it be great to be talking about fun stuff instead of all the R and D talk?
Another point I have been trying to make to her was if she allowed me to improve on the issues she has continually brought up, experienced these, the 'circle of pain' would end and she would start to feel again for me. What I mean by that is if I was lacking in an area, it made her irritated at me. When she got irritated, I would withdraw and get mad. Then she would withdraw...back and forth. I brought this up that if I could break the chain, I think she may feel differently over time. It will be hard to break the chain if I'm not here anymore.
I think a good book that explains this is Love Languages. I probably broke one of the biggest DB rules, but I asked her to read it tonight. She had promised me to read it before but had not. I said to her that I was completely ignorant to what the book talks about. That she could probably figure out my LL in a heartbeat, and that I know hers is one of two, but we could talk about that after she read it. At this point I'm sort of lost and I'm hoping she will read it and get a different point of view on her feelings vs. dealing with her divorced friends that are looking for more teammates. Its not going to change her feelings I know, but maybe it will open her eyes a little.
