Thanks BAW..I totally agree with you. You are spot on.
When we spend time together and I am able to show attention that she will pay attention to, we are much better. Problem is she has totally given up, quit.
I know she is enjoying the attention of these guys at work, even though they are creeps..in her own words. She did tell me one of them emailed her stuff that he would do to her sexually. It obviously caught her attention and fits right in to what you are talking about. Youre right, she wont accept my attention anymore. Includes telling her she looks nice, she's beautiful, she smells nice, etc. She doesnt want to hear that from me anymore. One thing that came up in our dinner was how bad all my 'gifts' were over the years. She brought up a bunch of them. She didnt bring up what I got her for xmas because that hit the spot. It was emotional for her, she wanted to keep it. Sad thing is she rejected it and I took it back. Bummer.
We grinded out some R talk today. The issue is we have this hearing coming up in which one of us is going to be forced out of our house, most likely me. I have been trying to get her to drop the hearing and experience us for awhile. We have talked so much over the past couple months, I know the issues. She says I wont listen to her. But the only issue she wants me to hear is for me to leave. I explained the issues I have heard, explained them today. Helping out more around the house, appreciating her, giving her attention, having more fun, taking charge of the schedule, etc. To me, all these are fixable. I would just like the opportunity to put some effort towards these. I know I was an idiot in the past for taking much of this for granted, I just want a second chance to show what I am capapble of. Its not personality change, its just effort change.
So..here we are on a race to a Divorce. I know she will realize what she is doing, but which will come first? Her deal is she cant be married to me because she is not in love. She says our M has been bad for a long, long time. I take great offense to that, because that is impossible. It may have not been great for 1 year, but not years. She wouldnt have stuck with me this long (16yrs) if it was so awful.
How do I show her attention that she will accept? Valentines Day...why would she accept anything from me on this day?
