I've had that experience too. My first boyfriend cheated on me with a girl that was very unattractive. It definitely wasn't about looks that time! I don't know what the OW looks like this time; I haven't seen her yet (good thing for her too!) Choceyes, I can't believe he was living with his parents though, that is horrible! He sounds so awful!!! Karen43
It's my understanding that infidels very often "trade down." Something about "control." Choc.
Choc - Very interesting about the Control part. My H always encouraged me to do this or do that, whether it meant applying for a better job or just going out with friends. However, when it came down to it, he never seemed happy if I did get the job or I did go out with friends. It always seems like I never make the right decision in his mind. That's his way to control. The best example is he really pushed me to get the position I have now. It pays better, has more responsibility...etc. He really encouraged me. A month & 1/2 after we moved to MN (where the job is located), he got down about having difficulty finding a job. I emailed him one day. My email has my "signature and title" automatically built into it. He completely shocked me by degrading me and really ranted and raved about how I thought I was something special because of my new title. Crazy!
The OW in our sitch. is trying desperately to get out of a M and be, as she calls it "Just OW" and not to be controlled. Good luck with that!
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
I'm not Brad Pitt or anything, but I'm a good "7", make a ton of money, am funny, articulate, successful and charming.
From my experience a "7" that is funny, articulate, and charming is a whole lot better than a 9 or 10 who is an unfaithful, arrogant @ss. Most want the looks of a 9 or 10 with the personality of a 6 or 7....those people are hard to come by. One of my girlfriends called me a 9 1/2....I wouldn't give myself any better than a low 8...modest too I guess.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
I've had that experience too. My first boyfriend cheated on me with a girl that was very unattractive. It definitely wasn't about looks that time! I don't know what the OW looks like this time; I haven't seen her yet (good thing for her too!) Choceyes, I can't believe he was living with his parents though, that is horrible! He sounds so awful!!! Karen43
It gets even better -- he's in the academy right now, to become a cop!
I'm not Brad Pitt or anything, but I'm a good "7", make a ton of money, am funny, articulate, successful and charming.
(Oh, and modest, too)
It's my understanding that infidels very often "trade down." Something about "control."
Choc.
This seems to be something I'm struggling with too, I am not high on myself but my H has really "traded down" in at least my mind, I was beginning to wonder if that was the draw, like he didn't feel good enough.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
