I don't like h to be labeled as "abusive". However, he has said some really nasty, cruel things to me lately. On the good side, he is getting counseling every week. I don't know what they talk about, or how she is, but I'm glad he's going. He does have anger issues, and I'd love to see him tested and treated for OCD because I think THAT could make a difference.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
mslb thanks for your advice on my post I'm sorry to hear you got another D bomb I figure I have another D bomb looming on my horizon too since she told me she wanted to "give us a chance" on Monday morn but hasn't said anything else about it since then. I can only hope to have the strength you seem to have, but when I think about I'm afraid of getting that strong afraid I may give up.
Me 38 WAW 29 D 4 Married 9 Together 11 Bomb June 07 Separated Jan 08 Reconciled May 08 awesome, happy, and blessed
Being strong doesn't mean you give up. It just means that you know you can be OK.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Well, h dropped another D bomb this morning. He says he's going to file tomorrow. Whether he will or not, who knows...but I called an attorney. I've got a consultation appt. for next Thurs.
I can't stop crying. I think my heart breaks mostly for my kids. Missing out on the family life that they deserve, and I couldn't give them.
I'm also afraid of losing them. H says he's moving to TN with or without me. He said if we divorce, he'll get the kids for summers and holidays. Honestly, I can't imagine being away from my kids for any ammount of time like that. I've never been away from d4 for longer than a week. And I've never been away from s18mos overnight, ever.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
don't know what the laws are for TN, but no matter what he says it is ultimately up to to the judge, he's just bluffing, it doesn't mean it's going to happen that way, not if you dont' want that to happen, so don't panic.
Yes, in an ideal world kids should grow up with 2 parents, I also hurt because of the posibility that my kids won't have that,but I rather be D than live w/a man who doesn't respect me nor shows love or care for anyone but himself. You are young and have a whole life ahead of you and you can still provide a loving home for your little ones.
Your H is used to spewing out venom and watch you squirm, stay strong, dont' cry or loose it in front of him, just tell him matter of factly that "we'll see how things work out in court".
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Here I am at work, and I'm STILL crying and shaking. Good thing I have my own office and can shut the door. I should actually be WORKING, but I just can't. I know I'm going to be OK. It just hurts. I miss my husband. a lot. The one I married.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
MSLB - I know how you feel. I'd probably do the same thing you are doing if I got hit with more papers from my WAW. I think my WAW brings up lawyer, "when are you going to sign", anytime she wants me to squirm or whatever. Regardless, perhaps I'll do what I am going to tell you...say as little as you need, if anything at all. They just get in another world after they start talking about that stuff.
One last thing...you really emphasized how I feel so often..."I miss my wife. A lot. The one I married."
I went and saw an attorney today. No papers have been filed, but the threat is always on h's tongue. So, I just had concerns that I needed addressed. Here's what I think. IF we get divorced, financially I'll be alright. The threats that h will take them to TN for 6mos a year (he wants 50% custody) are BS! Since we've seperated, he's had the kids maybe 3 times, and never for longer than 6 hrs. So, his delusions that he's going to get 50% custody, and take them to TN when he moves...not gonna happen! He's setting a precedence right now for the outcome of that. She suggested that I document every time he has the kids so I can show a mediator if he asks for 50%.
Aside from that, I'm OK. Another fight last night, nothing new. He goes back to work today, so I don't think I'll hear much from him for the next 4 days, which is always nice.
Why do I want to save my marriage? Why do I want him back? I ask myself everyday...I guess I took my vows seriously. I guess my kids deserve us giving our all.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
