Hey everyone. Sally M, thank you so much, you are amazing. Hats off to you.
Rough day. I am very emotional. H caught me crying today, but you know what? At this point, he needs to see me in pain, he hasn't seen enough of that. I wasn't begging/pleading, I was in pain. He didn't help me or ask what was wrong, just kept D3 busy.
He made a comment this morning about how HOT a mom was at D6's school. Yes, you read that correctly. He has a death wish, I think. He was attempting humor and failed miserably. I confronted him, and told him that prior to his A, that comment would be funny to me. But from now on, I never, ever want to hear something like that again.
I have decided I need space from H. I do not want this D, but will take my stand and not take this anymore. I deserve peace and comfort, and H in my life constantly is not working. I told him he is free to live his life, but I will not watch him do it right now. I am seeing an atty to draw up paperwork regarding the house (that I am staying in it, and we will tackle the money part later. Basically its assuring H I will not 'steal' the house from him). The girls will stay with me in the house. H is free to visit them/take them whenever they are awake, but he will not sleep here. He will be with them when I work til midnight, but then will go to his dad's. I have also decided that close family members will be told about us (his parents and mine).
This is going to be hard. I miss him already. I love him so much, but can't do this anymore. Will I file for divorce right now? No, I am not ready. But the time has come for me to fight for MY happiness. Luckily our schedules are so crazy, the girls will honestly not even notice him gone (they are always sleeping when he leaves for work in the morning). H called me at work and asked me if I would mind if he got a sitter so he could go out tonight. I answered "As long as the girls are happy with it". He said "What, no comment about me going out?" and I answered "What would you like me to say" and changed the subject.
I will continue to be kind and loving towards him, to be strong around him (and not around him). He is still my husband, but right now, I need my husband to leave the house. I am not sleeping and think this will help.
