Okay - I appreciate all of these comments. Still looking for ways to increase the passion. What do you do? massage? dance? etc? Ingrid said they sleep nude. I'm not sure how that works with kids.
lil - sometimes I definitely get caught up in the crazymaking. How can a person not??! My H has made some strides forward. He now at least understands these behaviors are unhealthy. He's going to anger management.
As you said, I need to focus on the positive. Here are the positive's about my H:
He is a wonderful, fun dad. He encourages me to get out of the house more. He is willing to share chores - groceries, laundry, dishes,etc. He handles all insurance and finances. He occasionally tells me I look nice. (this is not something that comes naturally to him that I've asked him to work on) He helps out with my ill relations.
So, you see he isn't all bad. I've told him it would be easier if he were worse or if he would hit me! Because then I would end the M. No question.
You are right about classes too. I too an online class and loved the positive feedback. I was craving it.
We have agreed that we absolutely need to work on communication. I've told him I need to hear compliments and receive words and deeds of affection (not sex). I've told him I understand he needs sex. I wish I needed it too, but right now it is sooooo much effort for me to enjoy any of it that it is really all about him.
I'm not always good at telling him how I feel - partly because I think it will always turn into a sex talk and about what he's missing.
I guess it is time for us to make it or break it.
Okay, I must run. I'm going to go back and read through all of these posts tomorrow. Some really good stuff here. Thanks everyone.
