Piecing? Sexual issues? hmm...not sure

[Just_Me]

I wish for his sake that you had just let him divorce you. You aren't doing this guy any favors by stringing him along.

I don't completely buy into your whole story of basically a "pity marriage" and no sparks ever, but whatever, maybe you aren't sexual. Or maybe there isn't that spark.

I love my wife very much, and that love equates with thinking she is HOT! Would other people think so? Probably not in the way I do. To me, she's incredibly desirable. I believe it isn't always physical attraction that leads to love---sure, in the beginning it's that way---but more mature love leads to attraction. But, not everyone is the same way sexually....although it doesn't sound like you had this problem with other men. Presumably you enjoyed sex with them (did you?).

Anyway, I should give advice, and it's this: Love is a decision. Are you going to love your H or not? If the answer is no or I'll tolerate him as long as possible, then cut him loose. He'll be better off without you. If you make the decision that you'll love him, then start loving him without all this baggage of, "I never loved him. Something about him bugged me. I'm not attracted to him." Just make the conscious effort to show him love, and show him in his love language (you should read the 5 love languages, by Gary Chapman and so should your husband). And he'll likely show you love back. But it might not be the way you want to be loved, so try the book together, and be honest about how you want to be loved. Armed with that knowledge, you might start feeling love and an interest in sex may blossom. But, you should realize that sometimes being loving is to have sex when you don't feel the drive. Might try spicing things up a bit.