Guys this is where I have not had complete faith in the going dark or acting as if idea. If you act as if you are moving on guess what, your spouse is going to think you are moving on. I'm of the opinion you can still show love, sit maintain a sense of connection AND allow space and distance. It's all in your attitude towards them.
Ultimately I think what I'm saying is you detach but LOVINGLY detach. In other words you do things to give space, let them feel comfortable, work on yourself and maintain at least a thread of a connection. For me this means being upbeat, positive and happy when we talk but also include some light chitchat. I usually ask about her day and share one or two things from mine. Not long conversations but simple sharing for a minute or so. Guess what, over time she started to make some inquiries about my day not as a friend or acquittance would but like a loving spouse does.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
