Had a great time skiing with my boys. I love them so much and there was no tention in the air all weekend. W mother died over the weekend. I wonder if this will releive some of the pressure she is feeling. She called the last three days in a row. Once to tell me mother died, once on my birthday and once on the way home from VT. She asked to talk to the boys for the first time in 5 days. I am not hurting as bad today. Had a great talk with My brother and all my sons about sitch. They really love me. I feel good. " I will get back on my feet someday, the good lord willing, if he says I may". (Uncle Jerry)
well she comes home on Friday from her 12 day trip, I can't wait to see what come walking through the door. I have worked really hard around the house and kids to keep things in order. I hope she relizes it. Either she comes home and drops a bomb or she wants to work harder on M/R. I can't stop thinking about the OM and what may or may not have happened, I need to get that out of my head for I can not controll it. Hopefully her friends talked some sence into her and the pressure from her Momm passing has been relieved. I really miss her but I am looking forward to what life will bring. I feel very lucky and very loved after this last weekend by all around me. I am thankful but feel I am heading for some hard bumps in the road. I see my theripist this morn. Can't wait.
BT - There is another possibility - status quo. Most likely, there will be no bomb or reconciliation. Be very careful. Look at your W as a wild animal. GIVE HER TREMENDOUS SPACE WHEN SHE GETS HOME. She is expecting you to pursue, do a 180 and AVOID.
All I got is time.Time is on my side. It is the opposite of the sales world. I think she is going to come home and ask for more space, like one of us moving out. I ain't moving out, thus she will attempt to get me mad and force a move. I will show great pateince and positive mental attitude. A lot of water is going to flow off this ducks back.
Well, two more days til she comes home. I have no idea what to expect. She e-mailed twice yesterday. I hope she comes back with a new attitude, she has no idea how much she is throwing away. I wish I could tell her to forget the past and let's start again. I really am a new person who has done alot more that a 180. Any thoughts?
Yes, we all know it's a good idea to put the past in the past and start over again. But remember that means you will have needed to have already completed the work you need to do or are actively doing it now. I mean seriously, major emphasis on correcting the opportunities with you. Second your wife needs to feel like she's ready to do that too.
Best thing for you my friend, smile, be happy, don't be overly affectionate, needy, clingy, etc. Be confident, happy and above all act as if your pain doesn't exist.(Fake it til you make it if need be.) Give her someone she can be comfortable around and eventually the wall will start to come down brick by brick.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
No you don't need to break it down, she will have to disassemble it piece by piece. You can't do this for her. All you can do is turn broken tree into a fixed and renewed tree. You have to do a great deal of introspection, self evaluation, etc then correct the things that need to be corrected. Otherwise two things will happen, a) she'll never take down the wall and b) you'll end up repeating the same mistakes in your next relationship.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
Thanks Catfan. I understand... Let me make one thing clear I don't want a next relationship and don't even want to think of it. I want so bad to fix this one. I have done a great deal of introspection and self evaluation. I have changed so much I can't believe it. I want only one thing and that is to fix this.. BTW: I am having a great deal of trouble sleeping because I can't stop thinking about the OM. Everyone tells me nothing happened and she does not contact him anymore but my gut tells me different. I want to trust and love. She comes home tommorrow after 12 days on a cruise. I will be happy and have a PMA. I am going to have a great deal of trouble keeping my hands off of her. I will be strong. Cheers!
