I know how you feel as my wife is in an EA and yet I'm the one she blames. I'm being told it is my fault she looked to the OM.
I have told her that she will have to be the one to look my daughter in the face and tell her she wouldn't end the EA and she wouldn't agree to go to counseling.
Unlike your H, my wife won't respond because she knows it is true. However, it doesn't stop her from being cold and distant and cutting me out.
What I did learn is my discussing these facts do nothing to help my current situation. In fact, they only serve to push my W further away.
So, I'm working on not discussing anything about the M, R, or EA with my W until she decides it is something she'd like to discuss.
That is why it sucks so much -- I am not in control. Allowing myself to give up control and back off has been difficult, but it is necessary.
Hang in there! We can all do this if we are truly able to be patient. RTL
