Status 2 - W friendlier but still very distant

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So, I am going back to things that eliminated her anger. She is a lot friendlier but I do not want to spook her and make her run back into her castle again. Not entirely dark but mostly. Not really an answer. Just remember the darkness will help you also. Took me awhile to understand that.

Hi jmw, Thanks for stopping by; I'll catch up on your sitch tonight.

My ultimate goal is to save the M and eliminate the unhealthy conflict and I am determined to do whatever is in my control to make this happen. Of course if despite my efforts it does not happen then so be it. God knows I would have tried.

Its taken many months to get to "friendly"; a lot of that time was spent in total "darkness" while I tried to separate "legal" from "emotional". My journey is chronicled here only from the end of last year but I went thru' much darkness before that. So I do not want to go back to the darkness because I've indeed come a long way from the "begining.

So my chosen path now is to continue down the road of direct phone conversations and face-to-face meetings if at all possible until I find creative ways to "break the ice" to borrow a term from Forrest Gump. Of course I also need to not backslide on the GAL, validation, non-pursuit, etc. to the extent that it helps my cause.

After digesting a lot of free advice I believe the most poignant new objective now is to show W I have "moved on" in an emotional sense even if I have to fake it. I'm thinking of healthy, non-destructive ways to do this e.g., redecorate the house, socialize esp. with the opposite sex and with the kids present so they can report back immediately to headquarters. Affairs, casual sex and so on that I've read about on this board do not qualify in my book - this will only make matters worse; I have to remain a knight in shinning armor to all concerned esp. to myself.

So there you have it now ... wake up Lan - the ball's in your court now.