It IS important! I do want to hear other's viewpoints, which is why I'm hear. This topic is just so sensitive for me. As far as stressors, I do have more than the average gal. Sadly, two of the big ones will probably be gone in the not too distant future.
My H does have low self esteem. I'm sure he feels last.
cac, you said (sorry I don't know how to quote) "Seems like you're looking at this whole thing as some sort of negotiation. At the end of any successful negotiation, both parties come away from the table feeling like they've been slighted. Thats not going to work w/ a relationship. This "tit for tat" stuff...(I guess you said thats mostly him)...it won't work. I don't think "meeting half-way" will, either. you both have to meet ALL your partner's needs. "
Can you tell me more? How do you do that? And yes, I've tried giving him what he wants, but I always feel like it's never enough or it's not right. I think he now knows he shouldn't be critical - that it backfires on him. Our sex life is in a bad, bad place. That's why I was looking for ways to rebuild passion for myself. I think he is gunshy and lost. He's not much of a leader, yet this is one area I don't particularly feel comfortable leading.
