OC: You're totally right. I will give it some more time, but I feel like I'm only doing it to somewhat follow the MLC timeline at this point. I feel more prepared for it, although I still get waves of compassion for H and want to stand by him through it all. However, I do find myself defending him less and less lately. I love him, but he has messed up and IS messed up. And that is not my problem.
peace: Thank you for that. If only I felt as strong and thought as clearly as you think I sound! I still feel like a huge part of me is broken. That my innocence maybe was robbed. I know I'll never get that back and I wonder if that feeling of being broken inside will ever go away. I think at the surface it will, but the scar will always be there.
I needed that reminder about being guided by truth and not instant gratification.
The whole age thing is starting to get to me. I was 32 when H left. I'll be 34 in a few months. I read in a study that a woman's chances of finding a partner after D decreases with each year, while a man's chances stay the same. This year marks 13 years since H and I (would) have been together and 7 years of M (5 good). I still have the possibility of spending decades with someone else. A whole new life with my life with H behind me. Of course I'd rather it be with H. But I don't want to spend a few more years alone with no guarantees of his return. I'm starting to feel as if I'm wasting my good years on him. (And obviously, there are no guarantees that a life with someone else will turn out to be great either.)
Is it better to cut my losses now?? I'm interested in knowing what those of who have been married for 10, 15, 20+ years would say had this happened to you early on. Or do age and length of M make no difference at all?
