Sent W a TM yesterday just saying that she is someone special in my life. She called later in the evening after work and we had a pleasent conversation. I told her I didn't see her coming around much and missed her, to which she responded that she missed me as well. Good sign.
At the suggestion of my spons, I got her a little card and just wrote how grateful I was to have her as part of my life and appreciate her friendship. Gave that to her this morning. So we will see how that goes.
I have my 30 days tomorrow and W said a while back that she would like to be there, but it is right up against her work schedule and I think she has forgotten. I sent a TM reminding her about it, and said it was up to her if she would like to attend but that it would mean a lot to me. So we will see if she wants to go.
Sounds like you're doing fine. I'm sure she thought the card was a nice gesture. Keep us posted and CONGRATULATIONS on your 30 day mark!!!
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
Well W wants to go, asked about in a TM after I reminded her. But then she wouldn't respond to any other TM after I tried to make some light convo.
Makes me think she is just curious to come see a meeting. If she wanted to be around she would be. Not sure how I'll handle it. Guess I give her the address and see what happens.
Some PMA I guess, getting tired of her waffling. One day she is upset because I don't come in her apartment when univited. The next I'm worthy of responding to a TM. Leaves me in a limbo of how to act towards her. Just feel that I can't do anything right in her eyes. All tunnels seem cheesless at this point. Hard to tell what is working and what isn't.
Don't underestimate the power of the nice note, just as you've been doing. It was something they taught us in Retrouvaille -- always start out saying something nice or thanking the other person for something. It's amazing how a simple little nicety can make a huge difference in the way people relate to each other. Your sponsor sounds great. Congratulations on 30 days; it's a big step.
Some PMA I guess, getting tired of her waffling. One day she is upset because I don't come in her apartment when univited. The next I'm worthy of responding to a TM. Leaves me in a limbo of how to act towards her. Just feel that I can't do anything right in her eyes. All tunnels seem cheesless at this point. Hard to tell what is working and what isn't.
Hey... didn't i just say that... hehe
don't get down on yourself. You are doing everything you know how to do. Your W has to figure out her stuff, you just keep doing what you've been doing. For me, before i came here, i missed my H the way he was. I liked spending time with him, but I also didn't want to send him any signals that i had changed my mind. She's telling you she wants to see you, but might be holding back at other times to avoid leading you on until she sees that your changes are permanent. you keep being nice to her and let her adjust. She'll have to get used to that again.
limbo land sucks, but you are doing great!!
If i can't fall in love... I'd like to fall in chocolate! ~ Author Unknown
I think we can drive ourselves crazy trying to second guess our spouses. Best to just let go and watch from afar. She is still in limbo land and I don't think she is close to figureing out what she wants. Don't let her waffling get you down. I think it is par for the DB course.
Best, --Chris
Me: 40 She: 31 S: 5 D: 3 Married: 8 years (05 DEC 99) Blow-up: 02 JUN 07 Piecing (More like Ostriching): 22 FEB 08
How was your 30day celebration. Did she show up. Want the details. And, you must have read my thread earlier, I was saying the same thing about not knowing what is working and what isn't.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
