Your thread title sure could be used for all of us. You have every right to be feeling the way you do. This is your decision, but I think it's a bit out of bounds for your friend to think that your relationship can stay the same after what's happened. She, at the very least, has to give you some time to get past this. Even then, it will not be something you'll forget. My H had his first PA 6 years ago. We lived in IL, she in MO. For a few years after that, any time he even headed south of where we lived I thought of her and the A. We'd moved to CA right after the A ended. When we moved back to IL a year later, we drove through MO, right past the town she lived it. I sat thinking of it, knowing my H was probably doing the same. The thoughts get easier to handle, but they don't just leave because the A has ended. If you've been lurking here, you may have seen that Sara and Saffie didn't really come to this site until after their H's A's had ended. It just helped them to get through their feelings.
Yes, your H will say he's tired of hearing it. Sometimes it's like they say to themselves, Okay, I did wrong. It's over. Why can't you get past it? You want to grab him and say......But don't you see why I have questions?, don't you understand how this has affected me? Have you seen a C or have you and your H talked about seeing a MC? Maybe something like that would help you sort out your feelings and understand why this happened and how to move forward. I'm not saying forget, just move forward.
I suggest you stay here with us and see a C. If not a MC then a C for yourself. My H would never see a MC, but I'm seeing a C. She's helping me get an understanding of things and helping me, as she says, keep my feet on the ground.
Best of luck to you. We're here for you.
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
