Frank should not be expected to DB if it means further neglecting himself, which it would due to Frank's tendency to put himself and his needs on the backburner. That's the main reason he crashed THIS time. Sometimes a person has to stand down from DBing. I disagree with the idea that working on oneself is a form of DBing. No it is not. DBing might become a BYPRODUCT of working on oneself, but working on oneself is not DBing.
Agreed. The only 'problem' I am having is how best to interact with W. I try 'detached and indifferent' and I get anger in return and fear I am pushing her away.
I try 'nice' and I hurt myself because I feel 'hopeful' and fear I am validating her decisions and letting her have her cake and eat it too. Which is what I did 2 years ago during the affair. I was NICE. She had no reason to fear that I wouldn't be there for her if life got tough.
This is hard to figure out what is the best choice for me. I prefer 'detached and distant' because it keeps my heart safe. But I feel like I'm also pushing her away and she'll find someone else to fill that empty space inside her.
