Why don't you sit down with your wife and discuss what she can do in the immediate future to ease the financial burden for the family? If that means her massage therapy business isn't going to take off in the near future then she needs to find some kind of alternative employment to bring in support. You are putting this all on yourself and your shouldn't. I'm not sure if you think that you should be the one to support the family so you haven't thrown down the gauntlet, but grown-up (like yourself) step up to the plate when times are tough, she needs to grow up and start helping. If that means she has to shelve her dream of a massage business/school and so on, so be it.
This is a good question. She has made several 'claims' that she needs to get another job, etc, etc, but she hasn't done anything about it. Now, today she has $180 in her checking account after paying the bills SHE is responsible for and it's going to be 2 weeks before she gets paid again. She is supposed to pay our grocery bill. Most likely she will ask me for money in a few days.
One would think that would be a motivator. How many times do I HAVE to tell her? Like FaithIsBelieving's sitch, it doesn't do any good because she is immature when it comes to money. Clearly she is immature when it comes to responsibility in a marriage when your partner is down and out for months.
So, I have no expectation that she will be of any use in this situation. I am going to tell her we will be selling her car so we can get some money out of it and remove the $450 monthly payment. Maybe THAT will wake her up but most likely it will piss her off.
and you know, I just don't want to deal with that. It helps me to detach when I think about how she is doing nothing to increase her income FOR THE FAMILY. But, that would mean she can't have her 'freedom' if she found herself working lots of hours at a second job.
Like my counselor said which I posted in my older thread "W doesn't do things that she doesn't want to do". Like keep her commitment to me, and actually put effort into helping me when I needed her and asked her to help.
