You don't understand how you are not treating H like your husband? Think about this. What you are saying is that there is nothing in your wifeliness in terms of how you talk, what you share, how you act with H that would change if your M were where you would like it to be.
I take it that husband and wives are romantic partners engaged in a lifelong process of sharing themselves and their lives with each other in an open, loving, caring, passionate R.
