Don't believe it, karen. As has been said before, it's not that he "can't" do it. It's that he won't. That he does not have sufficient motivation to do this for you, for the marriage, or (gasp!) for himself.
I'm at the "acceptance" stage, at least in my conscious, internal dialog (and external dialog on the SSM board). I'm finding it somewhat more challenging to embrace acceptance when I'm lying in bed either trying to get to sleep, or having awakened in an aroused state. I can feel my old friends, righteous indignation and resentment, settling in next to me. Living the "acceptance" is my goal, and I am getting closer every day.
Have you ever confronted the question "why do I want to have sex with someone who does not want to have sex with me?" It was a powerful question in my journey.
