Nicole, I am currently reading a book that has been an immense help to me with regards to my kids. It is called "Good Parenting Through your Divorce" by Mary Ellen Hannibal. I really recommend it as I believe it would be VERY helpful in your sitch. I try to pretend it doesnt have the "D" word on the front!
I too am struggling with how wrong it is for myr H to do this to our kids. But since I can't change that, my job is to make them feel as safe and loved as I can given these circumstances. Amy gave you excellent advice.
Again, I think this book could really help you understand what your S is going through and how best handle it. J~
M 35 H 29 M 4 yrs T 9 yrs D 3 S born 10/19/07 Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08 Status - still figuring this out