18 days... you dog. Can't wait to hear the stories husband!! Some words of wisdom: What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas (unless it requires penicillin...)
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Me: 39/W: 37 D13-D11-S8 M/T 14/20
EA confirmed: 9/13/07 D-Bomb: 9/19/07 OM Gone since 12/18/07 W wants to fix marriage: 3/16/07
My W always knew that I didn't tolerate being lied to. She has know this fact for over 17 years.
Oh, wow, how this strikes a chord with me! My W has known this fact about me as well -- I place a high value on truth and honesty. I don't tolerate lies or outright obfuscation of facts very well.
And while I do concede there are gray areas in life, that does not in any way mean that it is all gray and that black and white do not exist either. I am a man of my convictions, and now my W is acting like she had gone along with me -- all these years -- just to maintain our R. Now that she's dumping me and our M, she says she now finally feels free to be her "real self." (alien spew.) So now when W tries to delineate HER truth as being as equally valid as "MY" truth, all I hear is her trying to establish a moral relativism as a justification for her selfish ways.
The net effect of this is she can lie without impunity, such as claiming her EA is not adultery, and that she can unilaterally decide our marriage is null and void in her mind, and that's all the justification she needs. It also means she can lie about her whereabouts or give a fabricated reason she is late in contacting her children.
It also has meant that she can judge my sharing of facts and truths with my S7 (Mommy is leaving Daddy for OM) and claim it is harming her relationship with her children. But at the same time when she compares negative behaviors by S7 to those of his father (S7, did you learn that bad behavior from Daddy? Did Daddy teach you to do that wrong thing?), and thus associating any bad behaviors with me, W can somehow claim she is not harming my relationship with my S's.
And yes, after 17 years also in my own R, I am seeing things anew. The scales of love have fallen from my eyes. It may be that W is assessing the situation correctly -- that I would have a difficult time overcoming all this dishonesty and underhandedness on her part.
The net effect of this is she can lie without impunity, such as claiming her EA is not adultery, and that she can unilaterally decide our marriage is null and void in her mind, and that's all the justification she needs. It also means she can lie about her whereabouts or give a fabricated reason she is late in contacting her children.
It also has meant that she can judge my sharing of facts and truths with my S7 (Mommy is leaving Daddy for OM) and claim it is harming her relationship with her children.
Man, is THAT ever SCRIPT. EXACT same experience here with my wife, last summer.
Do you look in the mirror much? You are fantastic looking. If I was that guy's gf I would have been stuck to him like glue too - i'm a girl and I'm straight but I can tell that you are pretty hot!!!!!!!!
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Do you look in the mirror much? You are fantastic looking. If I was that guy's gf I would have been stuck to him like glue too - i'm a girl and I'm straight but I can tell that you are pretty hot!!!!!!!!
Thanks Saffie! I guess I never thought of myself as being "hot" but it seems that people view me now more like that than ever before....maybe it's because I'm single...maybe it's because of the infidelity diet...maybe it's because I try a little harder now. No matter what....after your H leaves you for another woman, it's hard to look at yourself and think you are a threat to anyone.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
I agree that confidence is attractive but if you have ever seen a photo of Hope you will know that it has nothing to do with confidence - she is a real looker!!!!!!!
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Saffie, You keep that up and I might become too confident. You are just too sweet.
Ooh, I just had a thought....rather than putting a profile on match.com, I could just post my pic on here and see if any of the other fellow divorced db'ers would be interested...I'm sure I would meet better quality guys that way :-)
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
