Thanks, aimhigh. H is not seeing OW anymore. We moved far far away and H switched jobs so that he does not have to go to where OW lives. I don't know how often/intense is the phone/email/txt/website contact is. That is the thing I am frustrated about. I feel that he is not able to open up to me with everything. And I do believe in piecing he will have to, especially in this regard. He tells me everything else about his life, just omitting OW part. I do think he has every intention to stay in this M, however, I also believe he has no intention of ever truly cutting off ALL contact with OW. He knows it hurts me, yet I don't think he understand how much hurt there is. And I believe that he cannot just "not respond" to OW because of all the pain he caused her, so he is hiding it from me, believing that it will hurt me less.
So H called while I was having one of the few crying moments. He asked if I am feeling OK. I said "I am not but you don't want to know" (He has said that I need to work on my feelings myself. Which is his belief even for himself. He does not like others to help him) Looks like he didnt' know what to do. Later he called and suggested that the whole family go out to eat tonight if I dont' want to cook. (For the record, after moving to this new town, without any help and friends, I have been home cooking/cleaning everyday and it is really stressing me out to see mountains of boxes unpacked and stuff everywhere) So this is his way to comfort me. On one hand, I feel good that he is trying to support me when I am feeling down. On the other hand, I feel that he is such a coward and won't owe up to talking to me about what is bothering me. So it is this conflicting feeling that is keeping me in this M.
I do think, like most others have said, time will heal all things. May be in time, OW will fade off. In time, may be I will forgive. What I don't know is, if he will ever be open with me with his feelings.
