I found it pretty difficult to stop defending myself too and was pretty intent on finding faults on W's part to "balance" the scales a bit. I was getting more and more frustrated about all the responsibility falling on me but I found this was more for my satisfaction though than productive.
In fact, it was counter-productive and when I saw it for what it was and stopped things improved.
Above there is talk about accepting her version of reality rather than responsibility. There is a subtle difference here which might help you get your head around it.
Best - GFI
Me: 40ish W: 40ish Together: 20 ish years Married: 10ish Years
