I was reading your sitch tonight. Looks like your wife is too comfortable with married life to really go it alone. there is a really good retrouvaille group in New Jersey, I'm not sure where, but Hopeforfuture went a couple of weeks ago and had a great outcome. He posted on LWB's last thread about it. You should look into it, http://www.helpourmarriage.org. It saved my marriage too.
