I am sorry about your birthday I always feel like they need to be amazing so it can be a very vulnerable day for me too.
But I love your latest post--!!!
Today in yoga class my teacher was encouraging us to go to The Edge, the limit of what we can do. She said that at The Edge, we will let go of things that we didn't even know were stopping us. We don't even have to know what they are. We can do it without thinking. The edge is where we transform.
This might sound ridiculous, but I actually feel like whatever I've been through since the bomb(s) has pushed me to grow, really authentically, more than anything else, even though it's been really painful.
It sounds like you are getting into really powerful transforming avenues!
I can see that I do need to work on being happy in myself - then I wouldnt be disappointed with H. And if I dont work this issue out I will drag it into the next relationship.
this is such a great thought! Like let's say you had an amazing day and you go home to your H (I know he's not there right now, but let's just imagine) and he feels like crappy crap crap. Would that make you feel less amazing? Not necessarily. You could just draw on your own happiness to support him and love him when he feels like crap, without him diminishing it at all. can we expand this into a larger vision of a marriage as a whole? or of your life?
I always feel like they need to be amazing so it can be a very vulnerable day for me too.
