Nikki, I am so happy for you. It seems that things may be turning around with your H. Just do not jump back in head over heels too fast. Take it slow and work on it together. There is still a lot of work that needs to be done by both of you. I wish you the very, very best.
I must have gotten interrupted at work and forgot to finish that sentence in my earlier post. He called just to say hello and to see how I was doing. I called him back but got his voicemail at work. I have not heard from him yet, but I am sure he will call later tonight or tomorrow.
Thanks for asking about school. It is so rare that we get to talk about good things in our life on this messageboard. I am a CPA in NY and NJ. Now I am going for my Master's degree in taxation and accounting law. (Not very exciting, but it provides a good living!) I just started so I have a few years to go. I work for a large firm, you may have heard of it-Ernst & Young, and I take a class at night. It is a lot of work, but I have always enjoyed school and studying. I hope I do well on my paper.
I'll let you know what happens with H this weekend. I hope you and your H and son have a great weekend. Good Luck, Rachel
If you have a moment try to catch up with recent threads from The Divorce Remedy Book Club.
We are on Part III- but Rachel55 is one of us and you already know her sitch. Donna (Hangin On) is a part of the team. Your sitch is very similar to ours. No one here has any other real "issues" outside of DBing, trying to keep familys together and surviving A.
Like you I have been w/ H 23yrs married 16- (I don't feel as old as that sounds!) We were in the middle of this crisis on our 15th Anniversary so I am relating to you big time.
If you can come over, you will find our group, very helpful. Happy Anniversary either way!
Hi Rachel, Wow, Ernst & Young, of course I've heard of them. It's so great that you have a career. Let me know when you're all done with school I may need some good advice
So, how did your weekend turn out? Did you hear from you H? I'm saying lots of prayers for you.
My weekend started out a little strange, then great on Saturday, then by yesterday you could see the little "alien" coming out in my H. The good thing now though is he dosen't get mean. He gets, I guess, sad in a way. He has a need to hold me when it happens now. He said again that he knows that this is where he is supposed to be he just feels like there is something missing and he dosen't know what it is. But, whatever it is he knows that I'm supposed to be in his life because he couldn't be happy without me. The words are good, but I'm not up to the trusting part yet. Especially because Friday night he went out after work with some friends (someone leaving the company) and he came home very late. He knew I was angry and quickly came to me and told me it's just him and I from now on, the time got away from him and he is so sorry. I told him if you want to be a husband and father then start acting like one. His first good deed as a father was to give up his golf game this Saturday to watch his son play baseball. The old him would have went to play golf. It's going to take a lot of time and work and I hope and pray there will be a happy ending...Nikki
Nikki, I am so happy that your H seems to be turning around. Mine, however, is not. He called on Saturday to tell me that he could stop over on Sunday, but not stay for very long because he has a lot of studying to do for his final exam. I was upset, but said that was fine since I was busy with my paper.
He was literally in my house for less than 5 minutes. He always kisses me on the cheek hello and good-bye, but he did not even really look me in the face. He was not mean, but was in a hurry to get out of there. He took his mail and a book for school and that was it - he left. Of course, I was sad and I called my mom to tell her. Not even two minutes after he left, my call-waiting beeped and it was him. He called to apologize for being in such a hurry and said that after his exam he could come and stay longer. I just acted as if that was fine with me and said sure whatever. The old me would have been crying and carried on. I think I handled it well. I still have no idea what he is thinking, and I am not sure if I care anymore. I need to take care of me!
Nikki, why don't you take Kiddo's advice. The other thread that I always chat on is under The Divorce Remedy Book Club, and is called Part III - Just getting started, went right to LRT. It is a great group of people who are very supportive. I hope to see you over there.
Rachel, It sounds to me like your H is where my H was for so long except that I think what made mine stay was our son. Yes, he is coming around to me now, but I'm almost postitive that if it wasn't for my son he would have stayed away when he left. I told him I wouldn't put up with pretending anymore. I've wasted too much of my life already.
I think you are handling the situation very well. Just the fact that your H called to apologize says something. What I really admire about you is that you are doing something with your life and not sitting around waiting for him to wake up. You should be very proud of yourself. One day he will wake up and he will be sorry for hurting you this way.
I think I will come take a look at the book club chat. It sounds like something I could use. It sounds like it has helped you a lot. Look forward to hearing from you again...Nikki
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