My W always knew that I didn't tolerate being lied to. She has know this fact for over 17 years.
Oh, wow, how this strikes a chord with me! My W has known this fact about me as well -- I place a high value on truth and honesty. I don't tolerate lies or outright obfuscation of facts very well.
And while I do concede there are gray areas in life, that does not in any way mean that it is all gray and that black and white do not exist either. I am a man of my convictions, and now my W is acting like she had gone along with me -- all these years -- just to maintain our R. Now that she's dumping me and our M, she says she now finally feels free to be her "real self." (alien spew.) So now when W tries to delineate HER truth as being as equally valid as "MY" truth, all I hear is her trying to establish a moral relativism as a justification for her selfish ways.
The net effect of this is she can lie without impunity, such as claiming her EA is not adultery, and that she can unilaterally decide our marriage is null and void in her mind, and that's all the justification she needs. It also means she can lie about her whereabouts or give a fabricated reason she is late in contacting her children.
It also has meant that she can judge my sharing of facts and truths with my S7 (Mommy is leaving Daddy for OM) and claim it is harming her relationship with her children. But at the same time when she compares negative behaviors by S7 to those of his father (S7, did you learn that bad behavior from Daddy? Did Daddy teach you to do that wrong thing?), and thus associating any bad behaviors with me, W can somehow claim she is not harming my relationship with my S's.
And yes, after 17 years also in my own R, I am seeing things anew. The scales of love have fallen from my eyes. It may be that W is assessing the situation correctly -- that I would have a difficult time overcoming all this dishonesty and underhandedness on her part.
