Well, what script are you following? I'm serious. I don't blame your W for feeling confused. You have not had sex in 10 years yet now you mean business? I would place big money on the fact that she doesn't believe you are serious. And until she does, I doubt you will see much change. You can't have it both ways. There is no "nice" way to do this. You just have to get brutally honest. If you "don't act like you want to leave", are you being honest with yourself? or her?
LFL
What do I need to do to prove that I am serious? I told her that I was thinking of getting a divorce. I also told her that I still love her. Those are both true. There is no threat there, even if it is implied. If she told me that there was nothing she could do then I would be filing now. The only way I know how to be more serious is to get a divorce. And if I do, I won't be doing it to manipulate her behavior.
If my wife genuinely wants to make things work, I don't want to constantly hold the Sword of Damocles over her head. I could say, "We better have sex by mm/dd/2008 or I'm out of here!" Is that conducive to rekindling a sex life? Has that worked for anyone?
SM
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." Henry David Thoreau
