day by day

[Michael Mc C]

saffie and sara (both with successes) say to be open with him, but DB says detach

I don't know Sara's full story but I am willing to bet that like Saffie, she didn't follow DB'ing to the letter and all the way through (I could be wrong so no yelling at me for presumption).

I am no longer DB'ing full time either. I have taken what I can from Michelle's literature and I make use of the info on a daily basis. I do not base all of my decisions and actions on what she advises.

In my mind DB'ing to us, the ones suffering infidelity of some kind, is the rebuilding of our true selves. In addition there are techniques we can employ to get our spouses to take notice of us again. I think that we reach a certain point where we recognize mistakes in our behavior in the past and once again have built up our esteem and confidence, we no longer rely solely on what we've learned through reading. We begin to rely on our NEW gut instinct.

I'm sure this isn't the most helpful post but I want you to feel comfortable with stepping outside of the DB framework from time to time. I have done it with mixed, or at least undetermined, results.

In the end, LWB, be true to yourself. You have grown, as we all have. Take some time to look at the new you and ask yourself what you want.