I do understand, I really do. But you're asking the wrong guy. See I believe that until your wife agrees to end ALL CONTACT, and come back to your marriage, you shouldn't BE having "intense emotional encounters," in which you "share." That's an intimate part of you that he doesn't deserve while he's not committed to working at the marriage.
Until she agrees to no-contact, and a bullet-proof transparency plan that YOU are comfortable with, your demeanor around your wife should be "Joe Friday" -- just the fact, ma'am. Yes, be civil -- even cordial. Do your household duties, and then a little bit more. Answer her questions, attend to your mutual business in a cooperative way.
But intense emotional encounters??? Unh-unh.
Five days ago, I suggested:
Quote:
I would NOT get into any self-analysis and self-criticism with her. If she insists on you telling her what makes you happy, frustrated, etc., just say "Nothing would make me happier than for us to grow old together, and our grandkids to be surrounding us with their love; and what makes me angry? The idea that you decided it was OK to invite another man into our marriage and break your wedding vows. THAT makes me angry." And leave it at that.
