I think you are confused, not about the detaching, but about what you want. If you want this marriage, you stand for it. If you don't want it, speed things along. Love comes in many forms - loving your H could be letting him go. Loving him could be telling him that you're not going to let him go.
I agree with you - you need space. Maybe you could shake things up at home a bit by redecorating your bedroom or rearranging the furniture. I know it's a badaid on a gushing wound, but I think you need to start taking control of something. I feel like you are hanging back waiting for H to call all the shots. If you make a decision and own it - YOU will feel better. You don't need his blessing to decide if you are going to stand or not. If the decision is you are going to stand, then you're going to have to endure H's craziness and irradicate behavior, all the while knowing that YOU have made the decision to stand becuase you want to - and while you wait it out, you GAL - really GAL. Meet new people, change your life, take a trip, take a class, rearrange the furniture - do anything to spice up YOUR life sans H. Take a page out of NikB's book - omg that woman has turned her life upside down, and continues to do so on a daily basis and feels all the better for it.
LWB your are doing amazing! You are FANTASTIC!!!
Me: 34 H: 39 M: 7 yrs H A 12/05-8/07
If what you say surprises me, I must have been assuming something else was true. - M. Wheatley
