I feel as if you typed what you wrote by reading it off the inside of my heart. i too realized that I had a m a family but the essential me was missing from the equation.
I too was abused as a kid and learned from an early age while all around me in my family of origin ran from themselves and their lives, I stood and faced me.
I thought that the right, best thing to do was to put everyone else ahead of me. That would show everyone how much I loved them, what they thought, felt , wanted and needed was of paramount importance. My time would come later.
I have learnt how important it is to include me in the equation, to admit my needs allow a give and take. it is not self centered at all and never will be because I see that to be healthy and truly happy expressing the love I have for myself allows me to have more of an abundance to give to others. I become richer and so does everyone else.
I also through this journey see that I am responsible for my happiness and mine alone.