Having a hard time

[ACJ]

HSS I heard you needed help so I came to visit your thread.

All the things you describe I have experienced and more. It does get easier I promise. I know that isn't much consolation but it is the truth. Do you remember when your kids were babies and you thought you were the only mum whose kid did ............ (insert appropriate words) THEN you met up with other mums some place only to discover that ALL thier kids did this too? Well I hate to tell you but this is EXACTLY what MLC spouses are like.

So for now treat him differently than you have been used to doing. Don't treat him like a child b/c that is probably one of the things he is running away from (although you probably never realised). Treat him as you would a friend. Thank him when he does do something for you and ignore him if he doesn't.

Told S11 he would have to learn to go up in the attic - still tripping over my xmas decorations that haven't been put away all over my bedroom

Is there any reason why YOU can't learn to do this? It's just another 'fear' that you CAN learn to overcome. My fear was I thought I would never manage financially and actually I am managing far better than I could ever have imagined. I always used to be a saver before I M my H and I have gone back to that. We have scrimped and scraped for those savings I have just been careful and now there is only me in control of finances I only have myself to answer to if things go wrong (but they won't b/c I am so proud of myself for achieving what I have so far).

Over the weekend H told me he went to a concert that I would've loved to see

This made me smile. A week or so ago my D17 found out her dad had been to see the Spice Girls in concert with much younger OW. I laughed for a good 20mins afterwards. When this group were in their heyday D17 used to play thier music all the time and H hated it with an avengence. Now it seems that although he tells everyone he is living 'hand to mouth' he can still afford (a) the tickets, (b) the 200 mile drive to London and back(c) an overnight stay in London. They are not themselves. They are frightend of growing old. In retrospect for me this would've been harder to live with if H was doing all of these things and still living at home.

You might find moving your thread to MLC better as it is a busier forum.