The Opinions Of Others

[Dom R]

Part of what makes me feel desire is feeling DESIRED - and if he never initiates then I don't.

Dont you think that your husband also wants to "feel desired"?
When you reject him for sex, then he doesnt feel desired... so he doesnt initiate.
It's a nasty feedback loop.

One of you has to make a choice based on thinking, rather than feelings, and choose to break the loop.

Since you're here, and he isnt... odds are, it's not going to be him.