IMO, your husband is probably not trusting that you really aren't going to reject him yet again. I have had my wife tell me the same thing and soon we have my as Charlie Brown going up to kick the football, only to have it pulled away yet again. I think you need to forget for now about him initiating and you need to go for it. Or, you could tell him something along the lines of "I know you think I will say no like I used to always do, but I will show you I won't" and proceed to give him a bj. You have a huge wall of resentment to tear down and a wall of trust to build up and you have the power to do it (even if you don't want it, you own it).
PF
Me; 42, W; 43 M; 16 yrs S12, D9
3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure" 5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
