that counselors tend to act on the assumption that sexual desire will reappear when all other relationship issues are dealt with
This is so true. We encountered this again and again.
My comment about her just getting you off her back comes from a time when I was still initiating with bf (about 3 years ago). I was looking forward to some action later in the evening and we were going out to dinner. He allowed as how we'd get to the bedroom after dinner. When we came home, he wasn't interested. I said, "What about what you said before dinner?" He said (I kid you not): "I had to say something to get you off my back." (Why oh why did I stay with this man for five and a half years?)
