Unlike many on this forum I have something far worse to compare my current R issues with. I have an exH who was essentially non-functional as an adult. Together we had so many areas of our life that were non-functional that I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt IT COULD BE MUCH WORSE, even seriously unhappy. So, my description of my marriage as basically happy, being good partners and good friends is true. My H doesn't always hold up his end perfectly and neither do I. He failed me with the car accident and he failed to support me much during this last pregnancy, emotionally. But he DID take over a lot of the parts necessary to keep our home running, bills paid, kids growing up and doing well in school and life etc.... So, maybe I asked too much. Maybe he is having problems that have nothing to do directly with the R but they are affecting the R - like depression. That would affect his ability to support me emotionally and affect him sexually. Would things be better if he could communicate better and quit making me guess - SURE. I have never said that everything is perfect but the sex, I have never said that he was my soulmate sent directly from God except for the sex, I simply have asserted that we have a good, functional relationship with shared values, give and take, enough to sustain things at a level that is too good to just dump in the dumpster. KWIM??? When you have had the reality of a very unhappy marriage you don't throw away a decent one very easily.
Karen,
I just had to repost this quote because you really are an amazing woman. I hope your H has a huge appreciation for you because he should. The fact that you are still able to see him as more than just the man that does not have sex with you is incredible. I can't help but think after the past few years that in your H's case there is something significantly "wrong" and I'm really hoping that some day (SOON!) he can face it. He's lucky because I cannot imagine he could have a better partner for figuring it out.
Here's hoping that you two have a great weekend away together. (in February??)
Good Luck
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
