Sm & Burgbud-- I think you both misunderstood me. I'm saying that SM making the call is NOT rescuing Mrs. SM. I think he could make the call himself or wait for her.
SM, do you think she wants to work on the marriage? Maybe when you said you wanted things to improve, she suggested counseling because her experience with it before told her that a) it was pretty easy and she didn't have to confront anything she didn't want to, b) it didn't really make any difference in your marriage. [speculating now] IOW she didn't have to move outside her comfort zone. So she suggested counseling not because she thought it would help but just to get you off her back.
ETA: I didn't mention the phone call thing as a legitimate way of excusing her from making the call. I just idly mentioned it... of course, I'm perfectly capable of using the phone.
SM, I feel you're taking adversarial stance with me. Is that my imagination? I'm on your side. (I know, I know, there are no "sides"-- but I'm on yours anyway.)
ETA again: You want her to show that your needs matter to her. Amen. Very important.
This is why I think "everything is great except the sex" cannot be true (unless both people aren't interested in sex). If one party is seriously dissatisfied and the other party acts like it doesn't matter one bit, THAT is a significant barrier to intimacy, friendship, love, trust, etc.
